hide the key, 'cause i'm coming over

unedited, sappy, terrible: to you nonetheless

memories of flashbulbs are going off in my head
(fireworks magnified times a thousand)
now's the time for migration but we're all going elsewhere
we're scattered arrows pointing in every direction
up down forwards backwards inside out.
do you remember the night of the 120 balloons
or that time we all held hands and jumped for the camera?
remember the time we ran through the snow at three in the morning
or all the times we cried in the hallway, heads on shoulders
and the kind of hugs that last forever but are still too short?
and then there were the times we'd watch tv
save the date for tuesdays and wednesdays at 8,
away games, the superbowl, thursdays at 9
cramming too many people onto one futon, into one room
too much junk food, laughing during the commercial breaks.

and then there was you
like your rocks: always steady, always there.
i could always count on your smiley faces and exclamation points
and you plodding down the hall
with that red backpack that was always fit to burst
like our conversations when we'd sit up forever and talk about everything
as if there would never be another time (except there always will be).
you'd wake me up for that 8:30 when i never wanted to
but i knew that someday i'd thank you for it
someday i'll thank you for everything.

and then there was you
your smile could light up a room
our dancer, tying your hair into a knot
waving back at me whenever i saw you diagonally across the hall.
remember the night we went to that party
and laughed about it the next day?
when we sat on your bed and cautiously crafted the perfect away message
choosing every word carefully.
i could remember that night for so many reasons
but i remember it most because of you.

and then there was you
hiding behind the door of 326
waiting until we'd guess you were there
making cookies with me because no one else would
telling me about your family and how
you made that giant cake with your little brother, that one time.
you and your quiet sarcasm
and the way you love our friend.

and then there was you
unique from the start, syllables that ran together
when you'd talk so fast, e's that were a's
(or was it the other way around?)
you with your phillies merchandise and your oatmeal and teddy grahams
and your unbiased wisdom when i needed it most.
remember when we had our dance party at 3am
when we decorated a christmas tree and brought sexy back?
or when we wound it up
or took pictures while lying on the floor?
we always found each other after the aftermath of everything
but because of you the aftermath was always one of the best parts.

and then there was you
the self-proclaimed foreigner from ohio
with your fashion sense and love of j. crew
('cause when i'm at a mall, i always think of you.)
it was always you and me and the backstreet boys
dancing in the hallway with the ultimate moves
and of course, our best friend de-fence
who we just had to take out on the town.
we had a million inside jokes before our first week was up
and a million rough spots before our first year was up
but when i needed you most, you were still there
because some things mattered more than our pride.

and then there was you
nonstop talking at 5am;
modern art in the dark;
first kisses under the trees and the stars;
fighting over boggle (and everything else
but i promise i'm always sorry before it even starts);
laughing while sliding across the snow
or watching stupid videos or telling stupid jokes.
remember when you asked me to dance in your tiny, tiny room
or when you called me and played "brown-eyed girl" over the phone?
or that one time you tilted my head back when i slept in the car
so my neck wouldn't hurt when i woke up?
sometimes, secretly, i doubt you 'cause i'm scared
but you always surprise me and make me wonder how i ever, ever could.

and then there was you
in your red sox sweatshirt and your many hats
(which i carried, wet, in my suitcase)
remember when we'd wake each other up so we wouldn't miss class
just so we could pass notes as i tried not to laugh?
you with your songs and shenanigans
and so many quotes i couldn't remember them all if i tried.
you, serious under all that laughter
when we'd pretend to practice italian conversation
but have real conversations in english instead.

and then there was you
you never failed to make us laugh
you with your wedding planned out to a t
(virtual countdown and all)
you and your boys and your late papers and all the un-perfect things
that made you perfect to us.
remember "love in this club" and library dates where we didn't study
or when we watched "into the woods" together
back before i really knew you?
good thing it was you sitting next to me in that theater
when we watched a show for real because by then
i knew you, and i'm so glad i did.

and then there was you
our favorite juvenile delinquent
we're twins by name and heart
and dorky love of harry potter (right from the start).
remember "why so sirius?" and snapes on a plane
watching the office, and "that's what she said"s?
and then there was that sunday morning in the basilica
when we sat in a row in our sweaters and dresses
you walked across the aisle and
i have never been prouder to be somebody's friend.

and then there was you
with your laugh and your curls and
your invisible, unclipped wings
remember all the times we'd try to drink together and fail?
"it was the best of times, it was the worst of times"
(but it was always 99% best and 1% worst.)
you and your dreams that were as big as the mountains you wanted to climb
but i believe they can all come true
if anyone could do it, it would be you.

and then there is me
writing my life away into different colored notebooks
here's my secret: i am the luckiest
(i am, i am)
because i have all of you.