but i realized some bigger dreams of mine (taylor swift @ raymond james stadium | 10/31/15)

last night, taylor swift started playing fifteen on an acoustic guitar and my heart leapt into my throat. you know those times when you feel all the tears and the years burning behind your eyes? that was me. eyes shining; singing along at the top of your lungs; remembering how you felt exactly this way, but now you know better. you're not fifteen anymore; not eighteen anymore; not twenty anymore. you made it to the other side, and it's a goddammed celebration.

but before then, and after then -

jumping to your feet when the stadium lights go out. the screaming reaching a fever pitch. taylor swift, a vision in a purple skirt and sparkly jacket and white ray-bans: it's been waiting for you. whipping off those sunglasses and flashing a million-dollar smile you swear is meant just for you. flashing colors illuminating every single person. standing there with lights in your eyes and a grin on your face like you're a little kid again. shouting break-up songs that feel so powerful it's like they're reaching back through time to say, look at me now. stomping and fist-pumping through bad blood and screaming that hey! 55,000 voices strong. watching this 25-year-old genius fairy princess CEO perform delightedly with a legend; watching her perform just as enthusiastically with a brand-new artist singing a brand-new song. talking to the audience and making you feel like she knows you, understands you, wants you to joyfully live your life. haters gonna hate hate hate, but who cares - dance it out, watch those fireworks burst, burn burn burn fabulously into the night. i buy it, i drink the kool-aid, but most of all i believe every word.

this has been the best year of my life. me too, taylor, me too.