restless restless restless is what i am. everything feels too small for me. i am missing everything all at once. i want to get up and pace around. i want to curl up in bed with a book. i want to wander the beach at night. i want to wake up in maryland, new york, south carolina, indiana. too many places. too many faces. i have a stash of bottled moments hidden under my pillow but the corks are screwed on too tight. i don't know what to feel anymore. the problem isn't that i'm unsure of everything-- on the contrary, i'm sure of more things than i have ever been. the problem is that since i am sure of everything, i now have everything to lose.
i wrote this after a night on the beach:
star light, star bright. let me pick out a constellation in your eyes, on your skin. it's dark but i can still see you shine. ask me about the milky way, stardust sprinkled across the sky, around us within me within you. the moonlight stretches its pale fingers and the stars run away, as far as the eye can see. no lights, more stars, and as yet another one streaks across the sky, i am feeling more and more like home.
i want to go back.
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