and so it begins.
again.
i don't know why this always turns my stomach to knots.
i tell myself to breathe but my body doesn't listen; and my chest constricts and i feel like i can't breathe and the tears balance behind my eyes, on the verge of falling-- but i won't let them.
it's always so hard being the one left behind.
everything i know and love is somewhere else; somewhere that is not here. i miss everything. i miss everyone. there are days when the tiny pieces of me that are spread around the nation all hurt in unison; this is one of those days.
so here i am, chin in my hands, fingers typing furiously as i tell myself that it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. i'm okay, i'm okay, i'm okay. the more times i say those words the stranger they sound; until they're not words at all, but a cacophony of syllables said in rhythm. breathe in, breathe out. i'm okay, i'm okay. carefully calculated sounds that let me stop thinking, at least for a few minutes. because the minute i start thinking is the minute i let those tears fall.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment