i always cry at endings

today is my most nostalgic day so far.

well, technically yesterday, since it is now officially july 1st.

i miss so much. i miss notre dame. i miss the way the sky looked as the sun was going down. i miss the lakes. i miss lafortune-- late nights, coffee breaks, cini-minis and starbucks before my 10:40, subway rendevous. i miss lewis. i miss the halls of 3W. i miss notre dame's obsession with dances. i miss botched peppermint patties with my girls. i miss section dinners and i miss conversations that somehow always came back to sex and penises and i miss alex being our personal bartender. i miss nights that we'd stay up 'till 3, 4am just talking. i miss shopping at target, playing at being all grown up. i miss the walk to debartolo on that one sunny day in the middle of february, when i'd take off my gloves for three minutes because for those three minutes, it actually felt warm. i miss the dining hall and shoestring fries and the copious amounts of salt i could pour onto everything. i miss fro-yo and sitting and talking so long that it'd melt, uneaten. i miss the grotto and i miss how it'd make everything better and i miss how even if it couldn't, it'd give me hope. i miss game nights and i miss how they'd always play uno without me. i miss irreverent games of apples to apples and losing at cranium and boggle battles with dave and text twist with molly at three in the morning. i miss wandering into angela's room and collapsing on her futon. i miss the big pink chair. i miss how the hallway became extensions of our rooms. i miss looking out my window in the morning and seeing the lakes and the trees. i miss walking around campus at night. i miss exploring classrooms and the basement of neiuwland and the sports memorabilia in the JACC. i miss the brownson courtyard. i miss laying out on the quad in the spring. i miss every single little cheesy notre dame event. i miss the leaves in the fall. i miss steak sandwiches and hot dogs and irish music pouring out the windows of zahm and st. ed's. i miss the campus teeming with people on friday mornings. i miss the stadium. i miss doing push-ups. i miss having campus hold its breath on saturdays as most of the faculty and student body watched football players tackle each other on the field. i miss going to mass in the basilica and hearing the choir. i miss study sessions in the library where all we'd do is IM each other from across the table and giggle. i miss sharing stories about "last night." i miss everything.