Tuesday, March 25, 2008

i've got the wandering blues

Here I am, in the cold midwest, and all my heart longs for is to be across the Atlantic right now. I feel my heart wrench towards the west; I am happy to be back, and I am thankful for those that I love, but there is a loneliness that permeates my soul. I long for the simple clarity of those ten days, when I was certain about things, even though I still had confusion and doubt. I had real, physical pillars to lean on-- I now must rely on pillars of faith.

I didn't think it would be so hard right away, I didn't think I'd miss it so much. True, every time I've gotten onto a plane leaving Rome I've longed for it to turn right back around, but this time the ache is heartwrenching. I've never felt it more strongly in my life. I've been hitting the wrong keys on the keyboard, I've been sleeping in odd patterns, and I've listening to that song over and over again. 'I'll quit my wanderin' ways one of these days.' I feel like I'll always be wandering back to those cobblestoned streets ... I only wish I could stop wandering and be there forever.

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