and i feel so cliche sometimes, sitting at my desk while it rains outside, contemplating to the tune of slow guitars. winter has finally melted away and it's spring, and everything is warm and soggy and just the way things should be. i can only ask myself what this spring will bring, because each one so far has been so different and wonderful. i feel like i'm starting to thaw, starting to wake up from the long sleep of winter. it's been a long time since my feet have both touched the ground. baby steps. little by little.
maybe i can't run across construction sites and jump fences just yet, but the mere fact that april is here reminds me of days where i'd sit and listen to matt nathanson and high school musical on repeat, with a stupid smile on my face that wouldn't go away. it doesn't feel like that long ago. my heart doesn't do backflips every time you walk in the room anymore, but every new day with you surprises me and makes me happier, not by leaps and bounds anymore but in the little ways that make me want to lay my head on your shoulder and love you forever.
you make me laugh like no one else. you still make me smile for no reason. you make me want to be better every day. it's not perfect and it will never be. but every day with you reminds me that every decision i made last year was the right one. i've never been so sure of anything in my life.
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