you never think it'll happen to you. it's always just a news story, somebody from your city, a friend of a friend of a friend (if even that). you never think it'll happen to someone you know, much less a friend-- and then it does, and you can't quite believe it.
in this world of technology, where news travels so far and so fast, it's so hard to believe that she's really gone. her facebook is still there. her cell phone probably still rings. i know people that saw her yesterday. i remember reading 'walk two moons' and sal talked about how the rabbit was alive, and then it wasn't-- but that's how it is, really. one moment you're alive, and the next it's over. just like that. she probably didn't know it was coming until it hit her. what do you think when something like that happens? what do you do? what do you feel?
this night, these past hours have been a flood of calls and texts and silences and i'm-in-shocks and i-don't-knows, the same words repeated over and over and over. i called up people i haven't talked to in months. it's really quite extraordinary how it takes tragedies to bring people together-- but in a way, maybe that just shows our innate characteristics as humans: we don't abandon each other when we need it the most.
her face is burned into my memory. slide shows of events and places and people are clicking through my mind, never ceasing. i remember all the little things, the stupid things, the funny things. we were never as close as she was with my other friends, but she was my friend nonetheless. i had lunch with her. we talked about our problems. i sat on her couch and watched 'footloose.' she signed my yearbook, and if i turned to that page it would still be there, light blue ink shining like the ocean.
it's just heartbreaking, really.
rest in peace, carmencita peterson. you are already so very missed.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment