i wear my heart upon my sleeve, like a big deal

living in the present is hard
when you're stuck somewhere in between
neither a rock nor a hard place but
living underground, holding your breath, waiting
for the chance to go outside
the sun is warm on your face but the gray clouds betray the sky's intent
and when the droplets drip then tumble down upon you
all you think is, i should have known
some days feel more real than others but still
you're living in a twilight zone
diamond on your hand catching the light of your childhood bedside lamp
sleeping with a teddy bear when you'd rather it was he by your side
all your ages coming together at once and looking at you, wondering
where you came from, and where you're going
time goes by both fast and slow
and life is like a pile of papers on a desk, building steadily
as you think, i'll get to it tomorrow
and then tomorrow's just the same
and the way this feels
can't be translated to handwriting or pixels
so you close your eyes, head tipped back, heart full to bursting
and as you type you know it's not what you had in mind
but somehow it helps all the same