it's the way we feel that this is real

seriously dudes, i feel like my life undergoes a spring cleaning every year. maybe it's because every time lent rolls around i take a look at myself and think, "hey, you can always be better!" and then i actually go and do something about it... but this fledgling spring in particular has been great because i can actually feel myself getting better, and i feel myself becoming happier.

i always wonder whether i secretly have SAD (seasonal affective disorder, for those non-midwesterners out there), because winter seriously gets me down in the dumps. i cannot tell you how many times i have cried on the phone to my mom, to jeff, about how much i hate DC and the weather and the get-ahead mentality and all that good stuff. and while i still feel similarly about the get-ahead mentality (among other DC work/people-related things), now that the sun is out and it's warmer and the cherry blossoms are in bloom, i find myself walking a little slower, smiling a little more, and realizing that i don't hate it here. maybe it's not what i would have dreamed for myself - i have always wanted something a little more exotic, exciting - but it's all right. and i'm actually happy. and life is good.

the temperature outside is above fifty degrees. the sky is brilliantly blue. i'm wearing a skirt without leggings. i've been going to mass almost every day. i've been eating healthier and i am in much better shape than i've been in a while. my leg hasn't been in pain or swollen for months. i'm about to buy a plastic adirondack chair for balcony. my family is coming to visit. molly's baby shower is this weekend. jeff and i are coming up on two years. summer is just around the corner. spring is a beautiful time that reminds me how much i love life, and that anywhere can be home if i keep the things and people i love close to my heart.