freeway runnin' through the yard

where am i?

i know that i am currently in a little gray cubicle cubicle in a building at 1401 new york avenue in washington d.c. in the united states of america in north america in the northern hemisphere in the western hemisphere on the planet earth in our solar system in the milky way galaxy floating somewhere in the depths of space.

(can i get more specific than that?)

and yet. i don't know where i am.

i know the places that i belong to: parkland, florida; south bend, indiana; san jose, costa rica; san salvador, el salvador; london, united kingdom; rome, italy. washington isn't mine yet, i feel as though i'm hovering somewhere along the border, waiting for a sign as to whether i should call this place home, or float on to somewhere (anywhere?) else.

i feel as though graduation, moving on, is something i really haven't accepted yet. it goes much deeper than knowing that i won't be going back, even though i still feel like i'm waiting for something, somewhere else to go, in this constantly nomadic life of mine. i feel like my friends are slipping away slowly, because we keep in touch, yes, and we love each other fiercely...but people make new friends. life keeps splitting. i am afraid that everyone will forget me. i am afraid of being replaced.

most days i'm excited for my new life to grow, and i'm ready for new things, ready to try my hand at this crazy world where no one really ever sleeps.

but on rainy days like today, where the dc streets look like london in the gray light, and the rain smells just like in did crossing south quad in the middle of april....i wish i were on a plane, like my brother, heading somewhere i already know is home.