i wanna be forever young

Things that are great:

Hearing a song for the first time that stops you cold. You're out somewhere, you hear it, it just stops you. You're convinced the moment you hear it - might be the greatest thing you've ever heard to date, and it has the power to change your life. Go with it, because thing 2 is related.

Seeing the one you love in a completely ordinary, random moment that you find beautiful and crystalline and epic, and it reminds you of why you love them in the first place: because of what's inside them. And trust me when I tell you this, that thing that happens with music happens with love. Believe in love at first sight, its as real as anything else in this life.

Thing three is the day when we don't have to mention the word "first" in conjunction with, say, Barack Obama or Katie Washington.

Thing four of the greatest things in life: Regis Philbin in any form.

Thing five is being from somewhere; being part of something larger than yourself. Its part of our identity as we go through life, and its a powerful thing. As of today, you went to Notre Dame...take in those bells when they play the alma mater, come back and visit Touchdown Jesus, and bring your kids to the grotto and buy them a quarter dog and tell them, tell them you didn't go to college - you went to Notre Dame.

-- Brian Williams

so this is the new year

i don't need glamour, i don't need money, i don't need fancy clothes. i don't need the top tier job or to be a VIP or fancy drinks at a club. all i need is a beer, a book, bright lights and this big city. work that changes the world. my goofball friends. and i know i can be happy.

freeway runnin' through the yard

where am i?

i know that i am currently in a little gray cubicle cubicle in a building at 1401 new york avenue in washington d.c. in the united states of america in north america in the northern hemisphere in the western hemisphere on the planet earth in our solar system in the milky way galaxy floating somewhere in the depths of space.

(can i get more specific than that?)

and yet. i don't know where i am.

i know the places that i belong to: parkland, florida; south bend, indiana; san jose, costa rica; san salvador, el salvador; london, united kingdom; rome, italy. washington isn't mine yet, i feel as though i'm hovering somewhere along the border, waiting for a sign as to whether i should call this place home, or float on to somewhere (anywhere?) else.

i feel as though graduation, moving on, is something i really haven't accepted yet. it goes much deeper than knowing that i won't be going back, even though i still feel like i'm waiting for something, somewhere else to go, in this constantly nomadic life of mine. i feel like my friends are slipping away slowly, because we keep in touch, yes, and we love each other fiercely...but people make new friends. life keeps splitting. i am afraid that everyone will forget me. i am afraid of being replaced.

most days i'm excited for my new life to grow, and i'm ready for new things, ready to try my hand at this crazy world where no one really ever sleeps.

but on rainy days like today, where the dc streets look like london in the gray light, and the rain smells just like in did crossing south quad in the middle of april....i wish i were on a plane, like my brother, heading somewhere i already know is home.

it's not where or what, it's who we were with

so i've come to the pretty obvious realization that i have the best friends in the whole world. now, you may be thinking, of course not, that's not possible because I have the best friends in the whole world, but let me assure you, you are wrong. how else could i explain that these girls are my adopted roommates, my surrogate sisters? how else could i tell you what these girls mean to me?

it's been four years of late nights, early mornings, laughter, clothes in each others' closets, crying into shoulders, hugs lit up by a thousand candles, closing down the bar, drunk videos, road trips, laying on the beach, dining hall people-watching, paper-writing sessions that last until morning, dancing on elevated surfaces, football games, inside jokes, marathon tv episodes, hand-holding (literal and figurative), raised fists, apology letters, music mixes, 3am pizza, secrets, confessions, endless message threads, giggling in church, singing in the basilica, playing catch, needing each other.

but in the end, what really matters is that in the last four years, we found true love - because no matter how crazy it is sometimes, there is nothing like the love of your best friends.