oh what a thing to do

a quote i love:

"I like to see people reunited, maybe that's a silly thing, but what can I say, I like to see people run into each other, I like the kissing and the crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can't tell fast enough, the ears that aren't big enough, the eyes that can't take in all of the change, I like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone..."
- jonathan safran foer, extremely loud and incredibly close



i kind of want to reread that book again. that, and everything is illuminated, and good omens and nineteen minutes and about every book i read last summer ever. last summer was an excellent summer for books. i need to make some more choice discoveries (although i am currently addicted to jodi picoult, and the ending of salem falls completely floored me-- definitely one of her better novels).

this has been the slowest week ever for some reason. maybe it's that i'm anticipating sunday so much, or maybe it's that the weather has been so weird lately (sunny then raining, but it's all right), or maybe it's that i've been so tired ... it's not really a bad slow, it's just been kind of lethargic. i can feel it hanging dense in in the air. sunday is so close that i just want to fast forward to when i'm already in sb and settle in and get on with life! it's kind of weird bc i haven't really been thinking about the fact that i won't be home this summer, and it's really the first summer ever that i won't be home. it isn't sinking in for some reason. hmm...



the best feeling in the world is discovering that you're smiling for no real reason at all, after the fact, and the only reason you realize is that you feel your mouth stretching into this impossible grin that can hardly hold your heart because it's fit to burst. :)

there's a freeway runnin' through the yard

things i love about my life at the moment:

peals of laughter punctuate sentences instead of commas. staying up too late and getting up too early. levels of comfort where our clothes end up in each others' closets without any of us knowing how they got there. literal crying shoulders when you're sad and reality checks when you need them. honesty. love. the family you choose.

tangled up on the grass with only the sky to watch us. taste tangy like sweet and sour candy. point out shapes in the clouds as they shift and change and we laugh and it's just like counting the speckles in the ceiling, except bigger and better and brighter and the stars shine through and i'm free fallin', free fallin'.

summer rainstorms and the five o' clock sun spilling through the window. forgetting how much this is home until i'm back. dancing by myself in the moonlight in the middle of the night. cannonballing in the pool and then making dinner: being both too young and too old. maybe i'll come back here for good someday. just maybe.

double nickels on your dime

so i lied: sometimes there are things you just know.






summer rain. summer nights. thunderstorms when you wake up. putting your all into a hope than you'll be on a plane two weeks from now. but there's really no choice-- can't back out this time. dizzy and drunk on the sand with the moon looming over the horizon. sharing stories with sixth grade grade comrades who somehow always know what's best. missing but not hurting. wanting but not longing. who knew it'd make all the difference in the world? my life doesn't suck without you, but when you're in it you make it better.







spin around in circles and never stop even when you're dizzy and sneak into places you're not supposed to be and lie flat on your back in the middle of the street and laugh till your stomach hurts and live life while you're young because you have all the rest of forever to get old.

i'll spill my secrets to you

i think the two biggest things i've learned since college are these:

one-- you can't make things happen, and things happen when you least expect or even want them to. there is no such thing as good timing, there is only what happens to you and what you decide to do with what you're given. sometime you don't know better, but sometimes you do.

two-- there is no such thing as "when you know, you know." here's the deal: you can think you know, you can have the strong feeling that you know, but the truth is, you'll never be 100% sure. what makes it real, though, is that even if you don't just know, that you're willing to take a chance on it. it's taking that risk that makes it all worth it