the only thing that ever made sense in my life

something big i've learned in the past couple of weeks is that you've got to do what makes you happy. take chances. go with it. sometimes you've just gotta plunge right in. so many times in the past, i've opted out of things because i'm scared it will be awkward or weird or intimidating or whatever. i've learned that more than half the time it's really all in my head. any situation is essentially what you make of it. and i think that's one of the most important things to remember in life.

i feel like i'm finally on the road to figuring it all out. i look at myself at eighteen and i was a completely different person. i still feel like the core of me is the same-- basically, the me inside my head. i feel like i've done so much to get that person on the outside. there have been detours and wrong turns and roadblocks (think that molasses dude in candyland) but i think it's really necessary not only to figure out who you are, but who you don't want to be. there are things i have done that i am not proud of: straight-up PLC's, questionable life decisions, and even things that i thought were right all along that, in the end, weren't. but i'm learning. i guess that's what growing up is for.

i have learned how to be happy for real, which is not necessarily being in a good mood all the time. happiness is knowing that you're exactly where you need to be. somehow any bitterness i had has completely melted away.

i want you to be happy. i don't know if any of you still read this, but wherever you are, whenever you read these words, know this: go forth. be happy. it's worth it.