It's that feeling that starts in the pit of your stomach, and then it just clenches. Ugh. I feel so disgusted with myself right now. Mostly because this, this waitlisting crap (which is basically rejection anyways)? Is my fault. That's right. I know it's because of my GPA. And if I had pushed myself, if I had just pushed myself a little during freshman year I just know that it would be different now.
It wouldn't be as bad if I didn't have good friends who are, in fact, going to the same places I applied to. Because now I not only can't go, but I'll have to hear about it too. I can't block this out and pretend it never happened. Not that it would be very healthy, at any rate, but still. Maybe it'd be easier, for a little while.
The thing that sucks is that I wanted it so much. I knew I wasn't going to get into Rome, but I love that fucking place so much that I always had that hope, deep down. You know? That impossible hope that you know you shouldn't have but that you keep alive just in case.
I just hate being that person who won't go because she wasn't good enough, as opposed to being the person who won't go because she just didn't apply.
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she's not a girl who misses much
- michelle marie
- florida girl, book enthusiast, kitchen fanatic, shower singer, allergic to math and productivity.
other people's words
"Do not be afraid!
Open the doors to Christ
God works in the concrete and personal affairs of each one of us
Don't let the time that the Lord gives you run on as if everything were due to chance.
With this expression of my hope I send you all, from the depths of my heart, my blessing."
-- Pope John Paul II
"Everyone has a free-verse poem written inside of them."
-- Glenn Lee
"Every once in a while you'll find someone iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare."
-- Wendelin van Draanen, Flipped
"This was the start of a period that blurs as I try to recall it. Incidents seem to cascade and merge. Events become feelings, feelings become events. Head and heart are contrary historians."
-- Jerry Spinelli, Stargirl
"That night I met you I wrote: it is possible I have imagined my entire life."
-- Sarah Manguso, Address to an Absent Lover
"We do not obtain the most precious gifts by going in search of them but by waiting for them."
-- Simone Weil
"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww!'"
- Jack Kerouac, On the Road
"kisses are a better fate than wisdom"
- e.e. cummings
Open the doors to Christ
God works in the concrete and personal affairs of each one of us
Don't let the time that the Lord gives you run on as if everything were due to chance.
With this expression of my hope I send you all, from the depths of my heart, my blessing."
-- Pope John Paul II
"Everyone has a free-verse poem written inside of them."
-- Glenn Lee
"Every once in a while you'll find someone iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare."
-- Wendelin van Draanen, Flipped
"This was the start of a period that blurs as I try to recall it. Incidents seem to cascade and merge. Events become feelings, feelings become events. Head and heart are contrary historians."
-- Jerry Spinelli, Stargirl
"That night I met you I wrote: it is possible I have imagined my entire life."
-- Sarah Manguso, Address to an Absent Lover
"We do not obtain the most precious gifts by going in search of them but by waiting for them."
-- Simone Weil
"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww!'"
- Jack Kerouac, On the Road
"kisses are a better fate than wisdom"
- e.e. cummings
"I never need to find time to read. When people say to me, ‘Oh, yeah, I love reading. I would love to read, but I just don’t have time,’ I’m thinking, ‘How can you not have time?’ I read when I’m drying my hair. I read in the bath. I read when I’m sitting in the bathroom. Pretty much anywhere I can do the job one-handed, I read."
-- J.K. Rowling
awesomeness
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- it's unforgettable, now that we've come this far
- sometimes things are more important than sleeping
- so i lay my head back down
- thoughts after fiction writing...
- cellophane girl, see through me
- i can't stop if you don't start
- ouch.
- huh.
- blahhhh.
- i have no voice as of now
- 3 things on my mind...
- sick as a dog
- hello hello
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