let my love loose again

let's hear it for america's sweethearts; i must confess, i'm in love with my own sins.




confused confused confused. eight of the best days of my life with nine of the best people in my life. plane rides, train rides, bus rides. heads on shoulders. drunken hugs. kings in every city; kings of every city. snowy mountains; sunny beaches. "leave me breathless." nicknames. eighty cent gelato and four dollar hot dogs. crunchy musli that lasted us through every city. "i want something else to get me through this semi-charmed kind of life." zip zap boing, shoulders, spin the bottle. never have i ever run out of never have i evers. more than friends, not quite siblings. "dude, you made out with your SISTER!" listening to scotty doesn't know every single day. "heeeell yeah!" sleeping until 6pm. drinking on the dock. screaming our hearts out at jealous midwestern public school kids. love love love. best fall break ever.





i hate how much i love you. it's over for real this time, and i know i shouldn't still care, but i do, i do, i do. it's so unfair. you turned my life upside down and then left me here, lost. i shouldn't still care but i can't help it, you've seeped into my pores and no matter how much i scrub at my skin, i just can't wash you away.

this gift is my curse for now

i have a feeling that nothing is ever going to be the same after london ... both in a good and a bad way. it's going to be so, well, weird having to integrate my london life back into my ND life back into my home life ... next semester is going to be an interesting one.

i've met so many people that, in normal circumstances, i never would have even thought twice about talking to, just because i already had my friends and i didn't have to. i've made friends with an awesome group of guys, which i have seriously missed SO much because almost all of my ND friends are girls. which is fine, but it's just ... different.

i've met three people who, if we had all met at the same time at the beginning of freshman year, would seriously be my best friends. we're already so close and we've known each other for a little over a month ... seriously, sometimes i think my favorite part of london is the people. i absolutely love these kids and am so glad we became friends.

i have discovered that i'm a city girl at heart. it's something i've always known but haven't been able to prove; but i absolutely LOVE living in a city. there's just something about walking down the street knowing exactly where you're going, hopping on and off public transportation, people watching, wandering down random tiny streets, the food, the sights, the history-- i am in my element. i have so much to write about and so little time, or space, or ink ... this city inspires me to be independent, to be me, to do what i know i was born to do.

oh london town. one day i will have to leave you, but you will never leave me.